


The Space Between Us and Home

by whatlighttasteslike (waitingforeleven)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Homesickness, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, Outer Space, Post Season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 10:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11644935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingforeleven/pseuds/whatlighttasteslike
Summary: As Jemma struggles with homesickness in space, Fitz finds a way for her to connect with the person she misses most.





	The Space Between Us and Home

**Author's Note:**

> Written for jsimmonz on Tumblr, who requested FS + You can tell me anything. This also fulfills TFSN‘s Fanwork Friday prompt “Space.”

She heard his footsteps not long after she escaped from the team’s weekly counseling session.

It was part of the agreement between the two of them – they didn’t necessarily have to talk, but they both needed to at least attend the sessions. Fitz wasn’t happy about it at first, but he quickly grew to like the time spent just talking with the team. And Jemma usually enjoyed this time as well, but today wasn’t just any other day, so she was less than thrilled to spend the afternoon discussing what they missed most about Earth. For many of them, it was the food, which they luckily got to enjoy with each other one last time before they were taken into custody. For Daisy, it was being able to use her powers freely. And Fitz missed their old lab.

Normally, Jemma would openly contribute to the conversation, but she wasn’t in the mood this time around, so she slumped into her chair until the opportunity arose for her to make her escape. When Coulson asked if she was alright, she made up an excuse that she was feeling under the weather and quickly left to find a quiet place to be alone.

But she knew she wouldn’t fool everyone.

She chose the space station’s small library to find some solace, locating a small nook in the back corner with a reading chair that few would notice at first glance. But before she knew it, she could sense his presence behind her chair and heard him let out a deep sigh before he came around to face her.

“I’m impressed,” she said as she put her book into her lap. “It only took you, what, twenty minutes?”

“Well, I knew you weren’t actually ill. You would have told me.” Squatting down to look up at her, Fitz placed his hand on Jemma’s arm. “What wrong?”

She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I just didn’t feel like talking today.”

“Jemma. You’re not like me – you don’t process. You just let it eat you up.” When she didn’t respond, he leaned in closer. “You can tell me anything,” he whispered reassuringly, moving his thumb back and forth against her skin.

“I know,” she replied, lowering her eyes. After another moment of contemplating if she should really tell him the truth, she exhaled deeply and met his gaze, finally giving in. “It’s my dad’s birthday today,” she revealed weakly. 

Suddenly, his face fell slightly, and Jemma could tell he was trying to hide the impact of her words. They had spoken little about their families back home, and the sudden reminder that their loved ones were back on Earth with no idea that the two of them were in space seemed to hit him heavily, just as it did when she realized what day it was.

“Oh,” he uttered softly. “When was the last time you…”

“Spoke to him? Oh, wow. I can’t even remember. Almost a year, I’d say.” She shook her head as she felt the weight of so much lost time. “When I became special advisor to….” 

She trailed off to clear her throat, not wanting to emphasize the memory more than necessary. Fitz was slowly starting to forgive himself, but the slight mention of the things they lost still sent him into a spiral of guilt. Without mentioning the fallen man’s name, she continued. “I sort of lost track of time. I was going to call him once we secured the apartment, actually. But that never happened, so… And then after everything that happened, I never got a chance to contact him.”

Fitz nodded in understanding. “Have you heard anything from him?”

“Just a few emails here and there. Always asking the same question without asking it.”

“And what is that?”

A soft smile spread across her face while she reached for Fitz’s hand. “He wants to know when I’m coming home – and when I’m coming home with you.”

“Ah,” Fitz replied, his eyebrows raised.  

“Yeah.” Squeezing his hand between both of hers, she gave him a slight shrug. “I thought I’d like space. But now I’m sort of over it.”

“I know.” He must have noticed her wanting to drop the subject, so he changed his grip on her hand and looked up at her with brighter eyes. “Do you want to come to the mess hall with me?”

“Oh, that’s alright,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m not really that hungry. But go, please. I’ll come by if I suddenly feel up to it.”

“Okay.” After he straightened up, he leaned down to press his lips to her hairline. She watched him walk away, but then he turned his head over his shoulder to look at her once more. Nodding, she silently told him she would be okay, at least for now. His eyes were soft, telling her that he was trying to convince himself that she was alright, but ultimately, she knew he didn’t completely believe it.

 

\-----

 

Jemma stretched out on their shared cot, moving her limbs about in an attempt to find a comfortable sleeping position on the unforgiving mattress as she waited for Fitz to return. It was odd of him to not be back by now, what with the strict curfew and the fact that they rather enjoyed their alone time in their bunk. They were lucky to share, so they made sure they took advantage of their situation.

When it was nearly eleven, already a half hour past their curfew, she stretched her arm lazily off the side of the bed to turn off their bedside lamp. There was nothing she could do at this point – going out in the hallway to look for him wasn’t an option, the security guards at the end of each hallway making that impossible – and they didn’t have phones, so all she could do was wait as anxiety ate away at her mind.

But to her great relief, the lock on their bunk’s door turned, and Jemma sat straight up in bed. When she saw his face peak through, a sparse light from the hallway creating a soft halo around his features, she let out a loud huff. “Fitz, where have you—”

“Jemma, come here,” he whispered urgently.  

“What?”

“Quick, I don’t have time to explain,” he continued as he gestured her forward frantically.

As she followed him into the hallway, she pulled on his sleeve. “Fitz, what’s going on? Where are the guards?”

“Don’t worry about that. Here, follow me,” he insisted as he found her hand in the dark and led them forward. Once they made it out of the residence halls, he took her down a small flight of stairs and around a corner before they reached what Jemma assumed was the space station’s main server room, or at least one of them anyway. She was surprised by the lack of guards on duty, but she didn’t worry about that as Fitz had clearly already arrived at his desired destination. Without hesitation, he led her inside and closed the door softly behind her.

“Are we allowed to be in here?” she asked anxiously.

“Likely not. But Mack’s guarding the door, and Elena’s down the hallway.”

“Okay, but what are we doing here?”

Before answering her question, he opened up a panel near the far left end of the servers and pulled out a phone, similar to the one he had described finding on the bus that May had stashed away.

“I was able to set up a secure line. You’ll only have one chance to make a call because I’ll have to disconnect it before anyone notices.” He extended the phone out to her, but all she could do was gawk at him through her puzzlement.

“What? A secure line that leads where?”

“Sheffield,” he said through an exhale.

At the word, she nearly lost her footing, the air swiftly leaving her lungs.

“I memorized the number way back when,” he explained. “Just in case.”

“Oh,” she said softly, the only response she could muster through her shock. She knew they didn’t have time to waste, but at the moment, all she could do was stand there, her eyes shifting between the phone and Fitz’s waiting eyes. The possibility to make contact, to actually tell her father that she was okay made her heart race in anticipation. “So I can...”

“It’ll go straight to a voicemail box, but yeah. You can talk to him.”

She nodded her head slowly as she tried to process all that was happening. She couldn’t even begin to think about how Fitz had even managed to make this happen, let alone how much trouble he could have gotten himself in – or could still get himself in – if he were to get caught. No one was supposed to know where they were, let alone try to make contact with Earth. And the fact that he had recruited their team members to help with this plan, just so she could send a few reassuring words back home, was even more overwhelming.

When she didn’t make any movements to proceed with making the call, Fitz stepped forward, pressing the phone into her hand. “Do you want me to step out, give you some…”

“No, no,” she said instantly, reaching out to grip his bicep. “I, uh…you can stay here.”

“I guess you should think about what you want to say, yeah?”

Jemma bit her lip to suppress her smile. “I think I already know.”

Nodding urgently, he took a quick glance over her shoulder, seemingly making sure they still hadn’t been caught. “Alright then,” he finally said, pulling her closer to the back of the room so she could speak more freely. At once, he dialed the number for her, which she silently thanked him for as her hands were already beginning to shake. Before he hit the final button to connect the call, he looked up to meet her gaze. “Ready?”

Responding with a single nod, she took the phone from him after he began the call and pressed it to her ear. As she listened to the short dial tone, syncing her breathing to the steady sound, she prepared herself to hear the familiar voice at the end of the line, willing herself not to instantly burst into tears. But nothing could truly prepare her for the lovely sound of her father’s voice, chipper as ever even in its recorded state.

_Hello there. You have reached the Simmons residence. We are unable to pick up the phone at the moment, as we’re probably too busy with the dogs. Please leave your name and number, and we’ll do our best to get back to you._

Instead of feeling the heavy sadness she had anticipated, she was filled with a familiar warmth only he could provide. She’d heard the recording hundreds of times in her life, but somehow, it felt like she was listening to it the first time, the rise and fall of his phrases sending waves of comfort through her entire being. Once the recorded message ended and she heard the short tone signaling the start of her message, she willed herself to power forward, not wanting to miss a word.

“Hi Dad,” she uttered sweetly. “I know I haven’t checked in in a long time, and it’s getting more difficult these days, but I just wanted to say hi and wish you a happy birthday. I wish I were with you. I’m doing okay. We’ve been through a lot here, but physically, I’m completely healthy. Fitz is here. He’s…” 

She knew she didn’t have the time to pause, but she couldn’t help her voice catching in her throat at the mention of Fitz. Her father loved him dearly, more than she could have ever dreamed, and she knew it was important for her father to know that he was okay as well.

Needing to steady herself, she reached forward to hold onto Fitz’s shoulder as she fixed her eyes on his. “He’s doing okay, too,” she continued. “And it’s good between us. It still is. We weren’t able to get that apartment we told you about, but maybe one day, we’ll find a different place. Maybe somewhere closer to home.” At this, Fitz chuckled lightly and reached up to wipe away a stray tear that had made its way down her cheek.

They had discussed their dreams of moving away after stepping down as agents – whenever that day would come – and they agreed they would want a place back home somewhere, either his or hers, but not  _too_  close. They didn’t want their parents hovering, after all. But deep down, they both knew no matter how far away they relocated, their parents would always find a way to close the distance.

Jemma took in a shaky breath, her mind racing of thoughts of their future. But she knew her time was running short, so she jumped back in with the rest of her prepared words. “We miss you, and we wish we could see you, but unfortunately that’s not possible right now. I’ll explain it to you one day. And oh! Tell Fitz’s mum we miss her too.”

She noticed Fitz visibly tense at the mention of his mother, but Jemma was relieved she managed to get that part into her message. The last time Fitz had spoken to his mother was after Radcliffe’s betrayal, and Jemma knew he was reluctant to contact her after everything he’d been through. After the Framework, he didn’t recognize himself, so he feared his mother would feel the same way. But Jemma knew that would never be the case.

“Okay, Dad,” she said, closing her eyes. “Send Mum my love, and I’ll talk to you soon.”

As she lowered the phone from her ear and ended the call, she laughed weakly to herself. “I guess I’m being optimistic.”

“But you will talk to him. I don’t know when, but you will.”

She felt the tears suddenly pooling over, so she lurched forward and pulled him into a fierce embrace, letting her tears fall freely down her cheeks. She didn’t realize how many feelings she had locked away deep inside, but now – after talking to her original rock in this world – she let them out gratefully.

“Thank you,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

“Of course.”

But after a few moments, she pulled back, concern causing her forehead to crease. “We should have called your mum though. You need to talk to her, Fitz.”

He nodded, biting his lip. “We will. Just not tonight.”

She didn’t know when or how, but would find a way to do the same for him. As much as she felt like a reassurance from her father was enough to ease Fitz’s mother’s worries for some time, Jemma knew only her son’s voice would bring her peace. Even if they were whole worlds apart, the thought of bringing her father – and hopefully Fitz’s mother – some relief from the separation was enough to ease Jemma’s mind for the moment. It wasn’t enough to completely rid her of her painful thoughts of everything she missed, but it helped her feel like home was still right around the corner. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [whatlighttasteslike](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com)! If you would like a FitzSimmons fic, you can request one by choosing for [this list](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)!


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